Cramps!!!!

Man!! I have the depo shot as my birth control so I'm not supposed to be bleeding ever, or having period cramps ever, but DAMN!!!! Today I've got the worst period cramps OF MY LIFE!! They come in stabbing waves and I just want to crawl into a ball and DIE! Then I do some breathing things and they go away. And then come back again. VERY weird, this stuff. Maybe it's got something to do with this flu I have? *shrugs* I dunno. I'm still reading the Breastfeeding book - it's so interesting but I probably SHOULD stop reading it because it makes me ache to have a baby even more. I'm sure Jason is probably cringing when he's reading this *laugh* That reminds me - I need to have the discussion with him on when EXACTLY we want to start trying. I know I could just get pregnant and dump that on him, and he'd be okay, but I don't want to manipulate him like that. I know he wants to wait until we're stable and own our own home and stuff, but what if we never do? Having children is something I DEFINETLY want to do - and I'd like to do it soon(ish) so that my kids have some cousins that are somewhat similar ages to them (Jessie's baby, and my brother's kids). Speaking of THAT!! Nikki, my brother's girlfriend (whom I REALLY like) wants to have another baby with Matt. While I admit that it would be cool for Rogue to have a cousin her own age, it seems weird for them to have another baby. They fight SO DAMN MUCH, but I think my brother actually likes it that way. And Nikki just laughs at him (one more thing I like about her).... well, I guess we'll see.